Cos it feels right.

Well, with regard to my choice, i've kinda decided. I'm leaning very much to the consulting company, pending the arrival of the contract. Thank you one and all for all your great advice, you've made a hard decision more easy to live with.

I think the decision came from me deciding to grow up a bit, and not take the easy option all the time. I'm not sure whats gonna happen, but i believe that if i don't give myself this opportunity, i'll regret it for the rest of my life. I want to make something of myself in this lifetime, and this is my first step towards that goal.
Maybe this is my first step towards maturity, becoming a person that is dependable, trustworthy and all that crap...

relationships are such a puzzle. I think as long as we live, we can never really say "i have relationships figured out." I mean. there are just too many variables with too much at stake. I mean there are 2 HUMAN BEINGS involved. It doesnt get any more random than that. Throw in some hormones, crazy emotions, mood swings, that time of the month, a dash of uncertainty, a pinch of insecurity and it all adds up to one big mess. But then there are moments of sheer clarity, when you know that the person you are with is the right one for you, and that all the crap that u have been thru or will go thru is worth it, just for moments like those. It's at these moments when you truly believe that it will all work out in the end...

Some people wonder how i can do things with such little regard for the world. Where is my regard for: hygiene, pride, dignity, self image, ettiquette, etc, etc,.... Why do i do things and say things that seem to so often cross the border into "err.. he shouldnt have done that" territory? I really dont know. I think partly its cos im a bastard who cares about noone but himself, partly cos i dont care bout the opinions of people i dont care about, and partly cos i just do what feels right.

there isnt really a point to this blog, just felt like writing about some of the things i've been thinking..